aha: in the deep

Sunday, March 05, 2006

Life as a tutor is indeed very tardy. I feel sluggish. There was no lesson with the SSO cellist this morning, he said he has a rehearsal, I think it should be rehearsal for the Lorin Mazaal concert. Can't attend that concert with dan because I don't know if my new shop manager is nice enough to grant me an off day for the concert. Oh wellssss. I really miss the peeps at gramo. The lameness and crappiness, not to mention the niceness of my gay manager. Cai accompanied me back to look for him yesterday, but he wasn't there. ayyyyyyyyyy.

Mehgum, gloria, rach, cai and I went for the career fair. Met amandoel. Yeah. Amanda, please don't go dance in nafa because local arts institutions are really, sadly, not that good. That's why I've stopped attending nafa. You learn stuff, but not THAT much stuff. Yeah. One day I'll pursue my dreams overseas. One day. Urgh. Oh wells then we enquired about courses at NTU, I'm fascinated by the modules in the Chinese division. HK and Taiwan literature, China economy and culture, history of southeast asian and asian Chinese, Classic novels etc. Maybe none of my friends will ever comprehend, but these topics really do entice me. Okay mock me, go ahead and say that I'm ching chong, cheena, blaaaablaaablaaa. Sometimes, I find it sad that Singaporeans are proud that they can't speak English. I think these Singaporeans are the stupidest assbrains. Erm, this is not any sort of personal attack whatsoever, I'm saying that if you are a Chinese who don't feel ashamed that you can't speak Chinese, you're a dumbass. Well if you do feel ashamed that you're not able to speak well, I've got nothing against you at all. If you hadn't realise, many indians, americans and europeans are taking up chinese lessons. Don't you agree that Sg Chinese who can't speak Chinese and are proud of their inability, are retarded? I seriously don't know what's wrong with these fools. Pardon me for such aggressive sentiments, but westerners will mock us. Not like singaporeans can speak good english lah.

Okay basically I'm interested in Chinese stuff. My Chinese tutee told me a little about China's 5000 years of history, it's really cool, compared to singapore which has only a miserable 40 years of eh, nation-building. Ay. Whatever it is, I'm confused. Don't know where to head to. Ay.

I have dreams to fulfil. But I don't think I can fulfil any time soon. My parents are retiring, but elder brother who has autism adds to another economically inactive mouth to feed. My younger brother would be schooling, still, even after I complete university and step into the society to work. Hence, I'll be the only working adult at home. My parents are rich, but I'm not. I'm not that useless to live off my parents' wealth and boast about their fortune. I'll have to bear the burden of ensuring that my family leads a good life. I'll have to be much wealthier before I can talk about dreams.

Yes and I just splurged on 3 CDs. Damnable.